


From Feathers To Fur

by Krit



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Broken Parabatai Bond, Daddy Kink, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Knotting, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Jace Wayland, Other, Pack Bonding, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, Parabatai Feels, Past Child Abuse, Polyamorous Pack, Praise Kink, Smoking, Werewolf Culture, Werewolf Sex, Werewolf Turning, Writing on the Body
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:20:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krit/pseuds/Krit
Summary: A simple mission gone wrong.A nephilim turned downworlder.For a man with enough identity issues already, how will Jace handle his new life?
Relationships: Jace Wayland/Original Character(s), Jace Wayland/Other(s), Luke Garroway/Jace Wayland, Maia Roberts/Jace Wayland
Comments: 29
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be added as I decide on more ideas, and more chapters are added.

Maia sat on the ground and stared at the bleeding man in front of her. He was shaking and breathing heavily. The right side of his torso had been gouged open by the feral wolf’s claws. They had managed to put the poor woman out of her misery. But not before...

He kept trying to activate his Iratze rune. But it was cut in half. She could see through his shredded shirt. His eyes glowed golden over and over. Flickering in the darkness. She felt something horrible climb up her throat as her eyes watered. But she couldn’t cry. She knew he needed her to be strong right now. If she fell apart, he’d try to take care of her instead of himself. This was the man who apologized to his girlfriend for making her cry as he was literally dying in her arms.

He wouldn’t die tonight. Somehow she knew. She wondered if it would be better if he did. She wondered how much more her friend could take. How many more times could he shatter and put himself back together. Would this be the last one? If this was the last straw, if he broke completely. If he lost himself... She decided then and there that she would put him down herself. Spare the others. She could handle it. And it would put a certain amount of symmetry and closure to their friendship. Finish what she had started the day they met.

His breathing was turning ragged. She could hear something shifting.

And then he was screaming. She leapt to his side. This was different. She’d seen wolves through turning before. It wasn’t ever like this. He sprawled onto his back, thrashing in pain. The thick black lines she had traced so many times when they were together, began to fade, dissolving from his skin like they were being eaten by acid. She wondered if that was how it felt.

“Alec!” Jace’s voice was broken and desperate. An agonized wail as he called out for his brother.

His parabatai.

“Fuck,” Maia croaked. Jace wasn’t just becoming a werewolf. Wasn’t just being deruned. He was having his soul ripped in half. She looked down at his shredded torso and wondered if that was what it felt like. Lifting the blood-soaked remains of his shirt, she tugged his jeans down a bit, and pressed her hand to the fading rune there. “I’m sorry.” She told him, her other hand pushing his hair off of his face. “I’m sorry.”

She sat with him. As he screamed. As he cried. As the jagged wounds closed into angry scars.

They were in the middle of the warehouse district. No one around to hear them or get hurt.

His cries and moans began to turn into growls and howling. His bones cracked and popped. He screamed. She almost expected him to lash out. But she knew him better than that. At his worst, in his darkest moments, Jace wasn’t a danger to anyone but himself. But still. A new wolf was a new wolf. And Maia wasn’t taking chances.

When he finally completed that first transformation, he didn’t try to run like most did. Instead, he collapsed back down on the ground. Whining and growling. Maia looked him over and gave a half-hearted snort.

“You look like a fucking golden retriever.” She informed him. He snarled at her, but didn’t move. His fur was the exact same golden shade as his hair. His front left paw was white, as was the large starburst patch on his face. He had one bright blue eye, and one golden brown. “Or a husky retriever mix.” She offered. “If it makes you feel better, we could try to enter you in some shows?”

He huffed and closed his eyes. Letting out a strangled whine, he curled in on himself. Maia noted a large white patch on his chest as he moved. _Of course_ his wolf would be beautiful. She might’ve known. She sat with him as he slept, the bone deep exhaustion of the night catching up with him.

Which was when her phone started buzzing. Pulling it out and looking down at the screen, Maia’s blood ran cold.

‘Jace’s Keeper’ shone up at her. Pressing the green icon, Maia raised the phone to her ear. “Alec?” She said tentatively. Her heart ached as she wondered how she was going to have this conversation.

“Maia?!” Alec’s voice was broken and raspy. Like he was crying. Like he’d been screaming. “What the hell is going on? I... I felt... and my rune. I can’t... Tell me this isn’t happening again!”

“He’s alive!” She exclaimed, hurriedly. “He’s alive. Though... whether or not he stays that way is up to him.” She sighed. “We found the rogue. We took her out. But... not before she got her pound of flesh.” She felt the tears creeping back, and now that Jace was asleep, she let them come. “He made it. He’s okay. He’s resting now.” She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “He’s beautiful.” She whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“Of course he is.” Alec responded quietly. “You’re with him?”

“I’ve got him.”

“Let me know..... just.... keep me updated?”

“Of course.”

“And tell him I love him? Tell him we all love him. And...” He broke off with a choked sob.

“I will.” She croaked. “I promise. I’ll make sure he knows.”

~*~

Within twelve hours, Jace was awake, dressed, and curled up on Maia’s couch. Luke sat in her kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee. They’d asked him if he wanted Maryse to come over as well, but he just let out a distressed keening sound and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head.

“Nobody else.” He whined. “I can’t...”

Maia’s apartment didn’t allow for much privacy. One medium sized main room, a decent bathroom, and a big enough kitchen. The alpha of the New York werewolves wasn’t living in luxury, but it was comfortable and it was hers. But she knew Jace would be able to hear anything she and Luke said.

“I don’t know what to do.” She confessed quietly. “I’ve done this before. New wolf. But not like this. I’m supposed to be the alpha. He’s my best friend and now he’s part of my pack. I don’t know how to help him.” Her voice dropped quieter. “I couldn’t protect him.”

“This isn’t your fault. Every shadowhunter knows that each mission could be their last. It happens. As for the rest of it...” He sighed. “You keep doing what you’re doing. You know how to help a new wolf. You know Jace. I’ll handle the rest of it. It won’t be easy. But we’ve got him. Hell, he’s already better off than I was.”

“Oh yeah. At least Alec didn’t do this to him. And nobody’s gonna disown him.”

“He’s not alone. He’ll be alright.”

~*~

The first two days, all Jace did was sleep. He went to the bathroom once or twice, and they were able to all but force feed him a sandwich and some water.

The morning of the third day, she woke to him actually sitting up, more or less, smoking her cigarettes. She sat on the other end of the couch and just watched him smoke as he stared into space.

When he went to light another cigarette, she told him to light one for her. He stuck two in his mouth and lit them at once, and held the second out to her. It was a move they’d done a million times. Practiced and ingrained. Almost instinct. She wondered if he’d even registered that he’d done it.

They smoked in silence, and Maia wrinkled her nose.

“You need a shower.” She informed him.

“I’m fine.” He insisted, his voice cracked and dry. He’d barely spoken more than a handful of words since that night.

“You smell. At least maybe change your clothes? Give yourself a few swipes with a wet wipe? I know everything seems daunting right now, and I understand if you’re not up for a real shower, but getting a little cleaned up will make you feel better, I promise.”

“No.” He growled. But it wasn’t an angry sound. It was sad. Scared. She narrowed her eyes, contemplating him. The drawstring of his hoodie was tied, cinching the material up around his neck. The hood was up, and the sleeves pulled over his hands. He was even wearing socks. Every inch of him was covered as much as possible. Maia sighed.

“You’ll have to look at yourself eventually.” She said gently. “I know... I mean, I don’t know, but... I heard Luke tell you yesterday. It’s gonna be jarring. Not having them there. Seeing yourself without them. But it’ll get easier. And that can’t happen until you take that first step.”

“I remember the pep talk, thanks.” He sneered. She didn’t flinch. Jace always got bitchier proportionately to how vulnerable he was feeling.

“Well then? I’ve never known you to shirk a challenge.” She gave a small playful grin, and counted the little tug at the corner of his mouth as a victory.

“It’s not just....” He sighed. “I’m not just used to seeing them. This isn’t like I lost my hair or something.”

“Oh, thank the angel you didn’t lose your hair!” She exclaimed sarcastically. The little tug at the corner of his mouth climbed higher up his face.

“I know, right? That would’ve been a real tragedy.” He gave a little huff that Maia decided to mark down as a laugh. “They’re not-“ He squeezed his eyes shut. “They weren’t just part of my appearance. They were part of my identity. They were literally where everything came from. My runes. My blood. Without any of it.... there’s nothing left of me.” The smile was gone. His voice was hollow. “Mom said she didn’t know who she was without being a shadowhunter. But me.... I know. I’m nothing. I’m- I mean, I know I’m-“ He couldn’t quite get the word out. “But that’s not- no offense. You know I don’t mean- but I’m not- I can’t-“ He growled in frustration.

Maia chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment and finished her cigarette as she put together an idea.

“Get up.” She commanded, standing and snuffing her cigarette before walking over to her dresser. “Go in the bathroom. I’ll be there in a second.”

~*~

Jace liked Maia’s bathroom. She used a lot of pastels, and the lighting was really soft. He glared at the full-length mirror in the corner, standing out of the way of it. He hadn’t looked in either mirror yet. Hadn’t even looked at his own face. He couldn’t.

Maia walked in and dumped the items in her hands on the sink.

“Close your eyes.”

Jace raised an eyebrow at her and the bandana in her hands.

“I know we’re both single again, but is now the time?” He snarked half heartedly. She gave him a look before her face softened.

“Do you trust me?” She asked, her voice firm but gentle.

“Yes.” He answered immediately. Almost before she’d even finished speaking. It wasn’t a question that required thought.

“Then close your eyes.”

He did as he was told and felt her wrap the folded bandana over them. She secured it under the longer flop of his hair and tied it tight behind his head.

“Good?” She asked. “Not too tight? Not pinching?” When he shook his head, he felt her pull up the hoodie. “Arms.” She said. Her voice keeping that soft and gentle commanding tone. He raised his arms and helped her pull the sweatshirt up and off.

The room wasn’t cold, but he shivered slightly. A small warm hand pressed to his back for a moment. Right where his endurance rune.... was. Past tense. Had been. She used to trace it sometimes. That one, and fortitude. Those had been her favorites. Running her fingernails over the lines as they drifted to sleep.

“Pants.” She told him, snapping the waistband. He slid them off and kicked them aside before letting her help him to the shower. The building was old, and had blessed her with a large claw foot tub. She steadied him as she helped him climb in blindly, one hand on the back of his neck. Equilibrium, his mind offered.

She turned on the water, and handed him a wet washcloth and soap. When she pulled her hands away, he couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him, a swell of panic in his chest. All at once, he felt cold and alone. He knew she was still in the room, could smell her, but he felt so...

He reached his hand out frantically and she grabbed it. “I’m here. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I got you.” She kept a hand on his shoulder as he cleaned himself, a steady, tangible reminder that she was there.

She helped him wash his hair around the bandana, and rinsed him off. Helping him back out of the tub, she rubbed him down with what he knew was his favorite towel. It was extremely fluffy and he always threatened to steal it from her. He expected her to help him into fresh clothes, but instead, she just placed a hand on his cheek.

“Do you trust me?” She asked again.

“Always.” He assured her. There were so few things he believed in anymore. But she was probably the one thing outside of his family that he believed in the most.

The hand slid away and he heard a click. Plastic? A lid or a cap being opened. A strong, almost overwhelming smell burned the back of his throat, causing his whole face to scrunch.

“Is that a sharpie?!” He asked, confused.

“You trust me?”

“Yes.”

He felt the tip of the marker touch his skin. Sliding over it. Lines and curves. He didn’t know what she was drawing. It wasn’t runes. He would recognize that. It almost seemed like... words. She was writing on him. He stood perfectly still for her. Letting her work on whatever it was.

He blinked when she took the blindfold off, finding himself facing the mirror. His runes were gone. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him. A sucker punch. A knife to the chest. They were gone. He wasn’t a shadowhunter anymore.

But the blow was softened. A little easier to bear and process.

Because in their place, Maia had written words in black ink.

On his chest, where his flexibility rune always went, was the word ‘adaptable’, his accuracy rune replaced with the word ‘intelligent’, and in place of his angelic rune, was ‘HERO’. It’s missing twin on his arm was marked by the word ‘fighter’.

‘Swift’ across his collar bone, instead of the speed rune. The empty space of his fortitude now proclaimed ‘BRAVE’. The dip of his shoulder where he always put his stamina rune now read ‘tenacious’. Deflect now was ‘resilient’. He snorted quietly when he saw the word ‘passionate’ in place of his calming rune. ‘Talented’ for precision up his side.

Jace felt tears threaten to choke him as he brushed his fingers over the spot where his parabatai rune was supposed to be, tracing the word ‘BROTHER’ left in its place. On the other side of his torso, in between the lines of the fresh scars that would never fade, over the absent healing rune, stood ‘SURVIVOR’. Turning to glance at his back, he saw she had replaced his stealth rune with a scrawled ‘clever’.

Each missing rune left behind a reminder of what he still was. Still had. And even more that he never needed runes for, placed at random.

Strong. KIND. Sarcastic.

Son. Friend. Lover.

PROTECTOR. Teacher. Nurturing.

Funny. Creative. Gentle.

Musician. Obnoxious. Chef.

“Some of these are a little rude.” He croaked wetly, his face aching from the size of his grin.

“Oh! That’s right!” She grabbed the sharpie again and wrote ‘RUDE’ on his shoulder. He snorted and kissed her forehead.

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace is welcomed into the pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story apparently wants to evolve in all sorts of directions I wasn't planning.  
> So.... I will update the tags as we go along.  
> If it ends up turning into something that's not your rusty bucket of dirty bog water, then by all means, feel free to nope out.  
> You don't have to explain or feel bad. I won't be offended. And that goes for all my fics.
> 
> But if you continue to enjoy this one, then by all means, I hope you enjoy!

Jace pulled the hoodie sleeves over his hands. Someone had ripped thumb holes in them. He had no idea _who_ , as the thing smelled like Maia, Simon, _and_ Clary. He wasn’t sure how he recognized Simon and Clary’s scents. He hadn’t seen them since... He just knew.

He zipped and unzipped it about a dozen times. The Rock Solid Panda shirt underneath was soft and worn and also smelled like his three friends. He and Simon had left enough clothes at Maia’s apartment over the past year, that he had been able to stay there for almost a full week without leaving or seeing anyone.

Maia told him it was time to meet the pack. He didn’t have to go anywhere else, or see anyone else. If he wasn’t ready to see his family yet, that was okay. But this was important. And would help him settle in. There was some kind of initiation type welcoming something or other that they wanted to do. Apparently it wasn’t always done. Special instances. Like the alpha’s ex-shadowhunter best friend.

Jace sighed, unzipped the hoodie again and rubbed his neck. It was so strange to not see the swoop of his speed rune poking out from under his shirt.

“Here.” Maia stepped up to him, a bandana in her hands. It was the one she’d blindfolded him with in the shower. She folded in a triangle and tied it around his neck.

“More of a German Shepard look, than Golden Retriever, isn’t it?” He joked weakly.

~*~

Jace tapped his fingers rapidly against the car door as Maia drove them deeper into the woods. “How many people will be there?” He tried not to sound anxious. He failed miserably.

“Just about the whole pack. But not everyone will be around the whole time. It’s a large camping ground, and we have it all to ourselves for a week and a half. Some folks will come and go. The main spot you’ll be is gonna have maybe a dozen people? That’s including you, me, and Luke. You’re gonna meet everyone by the end of it, and there will be a few times we all get together. But if it becomes too much, you get overwhelmed, you can always break away for a bit. Everyone will personally understand.” She chuckled. “We all went through the beginning. Even born wolves go through it around puberty.”

“Will there be kids there?” He wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be. He loved kids. But he wasn’t sure if he really trusted himself yet. There was still so much stirring and grinding under his skin.

“Not for this, no. But you’ll meet most of them soon enough.”

Jace nodded and stared out the window. The trees settled something in his chest. He loved the city, but the woods had always been home.

When they reached the main campground, Jace jumped out of the car, stretching his arms and legs. There were people already milling about. Tents set up. Food spread out on picnic tables. A fire going with what looked like hot dogs being roasted. Some of the wolves were shifted, lounging by the fire. They were piled on top of each other, like he used to do with Alec and Izzy when they were kids. They still did from time to time. Though it had been a while.

A man at one of the tables was staring at him. Jace shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets and turned back to Maia. “What do you need me to do?” He asked.

“Take our stuff to that blue and green tent over there.” She popped the trunk for him and took the cooler from the back seat.

Jace liked having something to do. Orders. A job. It made him feel less lost. When he finished settling their bags, he made his way back to the tables where Maia was organizing drinks. The man was still staring at him.

“Hello.” Jace said pointedly, raising an eyebrow at him. The man squinted at him.

“Didn’t I try to kill you last summer?” He finally asked, in a tone that one might use to ask if they went to the same high school.

“A lot of people tried to kill me last summer. A good chunk of them were wolves. You’ll have to be more specific.” He grumbled, shrugging as he grabbed a beer from one of the coolers.

“We thought you killed my friend’s niece. Chased you across town. That was you, wasn’t it?”

Jace snorted and popped the cap off the bottle. “Yeah, that was me.” He took a swig of the beer. “I didn’t do it though. That’s important to remember.” The man nodded, waving a hand.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that now.” He huffed a laugh. “Fuck, but I almost had you. This close!” He held his thumb and finger less than an inch apart.

“Are you the one who actually would’ve gotten me at the end there?” Jace smiled, strangely amused by this. Looking at the man in front of him and remembering a wolf lunging at him.

“Yeah!” The man laughed. “Fucker, I _had_ you!” He nudged the man next him. “I was mid jump, five feet in the air, my teeth inches from this guy’s face-“

“You’ve told this story a thousand times, Greg.” The long suffering man interjected, and Jace cackled.

“I know. Shut up. _This_ is the fucking guy! Anyway, the next thing I know, I’m on the fucking _ground_ , with a rope around my neck, and some dominatrix Amazon goddess, who has appeared out of _fucking nowhere_ by the way, is towering over me, cracking dog jokes, and _steals my prey_!” He turned back to Jace, who was laughing so hard, he couldn’t breathe. “So now that I’ve got you here, I just wanna ask, WHAT THE _FUCK WAS THAT?!_ ”

Jace wiped the tears from his face and tried to catch his breath, which was difficult since he could not stop laughing.

“That, my friend...” He gasped, giggling. “Is what we call... my baby sister.” He snorted and took another sip of his drink. “And it was a whip. Not a rope.”

“Of course it was. Of _fucking course_ it was.”

“You should know how fucking lucky you are.” Jace informed him. “So fucking lucky we were on a time crunch and had to go. If she’d had time, she would’ve fucking killed you. In fact, I’ve _seen_ her snap necks with that thing. You are so lucky she had other things to worry about.”

The man, Greg, laughed. “Oh, I believe that. It was your brother or something, right? He was in trouble? You get to him in time? He alright?”

“Yeah.” Jace chuckled. “He’s fine.”

~*~

Jace was relieved that everyone only really approached him one or two at a time. Never crowding him. Being causal and calm. No expectations, no awkwardness. It was nice.

For half the afternoon, he just sat at the one table, eating and drinking, as people came and went, chatting or just introducing themselves. He didn’t have to really do anything, or worry about how to mingle. By early evening, he was sprawled out by the fire, shoulders cradled in Maia’s crossed legs, his head cushioned on her stomach.

“This is nice.” He said quietly. “I like this.”

After the sun set, a woman with silver hair and a weathered face, stood and raised a glass. Jace vaguely remembered her name to be Judith.

“Our family is growing. And not just any new pup, but a former nephilim.” Jace scrunched his nose and shrank back against Maia, her arm secure across his chest. “It’s no easy thing. To have your life uprooted and turned inside out like that. It’s not like with mundanes.” She smiled sadly, glancing over at Luke. Jace wondered if she’d known him when he’d first turned. Then she looked at Jace. “But you’re not alone, dear. Pack is family. We take care of each other. And I don’t know what Raziel thinks of you now.” Jace let out a small huff. “But the moon will always be there for you. She is the source of your power now. Your mother, and your guide. She will always be with you. Watching over you. Her love will keep you strong.”

Jace couldn’t stop the tears falling down his face, his eyes burning. A choked and broken sound knocked around his swelling throat, and his chest ached as his shoulders shook. He didn’t know if he wanted to sob or laugh. He hadn’t thought of it. It only occurred to him just then.

He turned his head and caught Luke’s gaze, raising his eyebrows as he asked sardonically “Hey Luke? Remind me. What was my birth mom’s name?”

Luke let out a sharp surprised laugh. It seemed he hadn’t thought of it either.

“Please tell me her name was Luna!” One of the wolves pipped up.

“Céline.” Luke corrected, and Jace looked up at the moon above them. “Has a few different meanings. The moon. The heavens. She once gave us a forty minute lecture about the history of it, leading back to it technically being a reference to the god of war, and how _technically_ , she had the same name as Stephen’s father.”

“How do you get from Céline to Marcus?” Jace laughed.

“Forty. Minute. Lecture.” He looked up to the sky as well, face wistful. “We used to call her Moonbeam.” He looked back at Jace again. “You know. They were going to name you Artemis.”

Jace stared at him, his grin a little manic. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He shook his head and wiped the tears from his face. “This is just fate, isn’t it?”

Judith grinned at him as many of the surrounding wolves laughed and agreed. “Welcome home.” She told him, lifting her glass.

He raised his bottle to her and smiled. “Here’s to family.”

~*~

Wolves were a lot more tactile than he’d realized. Hands patting his shoulders as people walked by him. Hugs and casual touching. Even in human form everyone seemed to sort of flop all over each other.

He had to admit, once he got used to it, he really liked it. Jace had never been able to get enough of physical touch. Shadowhunters generally weren’t so intimate. Affection was demonstrated, not given. Gifts and favors, kind words and gestures. That was the more common love language of the nephilim. Hugs weren’t rare, especially among direct family, but it was nothing like this. He and his siblings were considered odd by other shadowhunters for how physically affectionate they were with each other.

He’d expected his place in the pack to be distant. Maia’s friend. Luke’s sort of step kid twice removed. He hadn’t expected to make real friends and connections. He talked to them about music and books. They helped him learn werewolf social etiquette and body language. There was so much non verbal communication. He loved it.

And for as much as they didn’t really care for personal space, they respected it. A few times, Jace got overwhelmed and needed to be left alone. And they did. No arguing or prying. They just smiled and nodded, and let him have a moment.

He was comfortable around them. Trusted them.

One morning, he stepped out of the tent in his wolf form. He hadn’t shifted since the night he turned. Maia smiled at him from her seat by the fire. She looked proud. Pleased. But like she wasn’t just happy _with_ him, but _for_ him.

He flopped down next to a nearby tree, and it wasn’t long before one of his pack mates joined him.

He spent most of the day shifted. Just exploring the forest and his new body. Running through the woods at that height gave him interesting flashbacks to his childhood. Running wild.

When he moved to New York, his new siblings used to call him their Feral Forrest Foundling. He tried to explain to them that he lived in a cabin with his father, and was fairly civilized, until he realized they were joking. He rather liked the nickname. Made him feel like something special they decided to keep, instead of something worthless they took pity on. He was their strange woodland creature. Even more so now, he supposed.

He loved the city. But the woods had always been home.

That night, back in his human form and a pair of sweatpants, Jace sprawled out across Maia’s lap in front of the fire. He watched her fingertips lazily move over his bare chest. It was still jarring. Every time he looked and his skin was empty. But slowly, it had become easier. Finally allowing himself to discover what he’d been given when he lost them had gone a long way to ease the pain.

Luke came to sit next to Maia, and lifted Jace’s legs, pulling them across his own lap. “How ya feelin kid?” He asked gently.

“I’m good.” Jace’s voice was low and content. Luke wrapped a hand around his ankle, thumb rubbing over the bone.

“I’m glad. You’re settling in really well. I’m proud of you.”

Jace let out a pleased whine. His body felt warm and relaxed. Luke’s firm hand rubbing his ankle, the other resting on his knee. Maia petting his chest softly.

“You’re doing so good, Jace. So good.” Her voice was gentle and steady. He remembered that those words in that tone. Tied to her bed with her hands around his throat. Her hand was small but strong on his chest. He felt grounded and protected. He felt...

Another hand threaded through his hair. He opened his eyes, not even realizing he had closed them. One of the others was sitting next to him now, petting his hair. It felt really nice. Justin. That was his name. Jace liked him. They talked about hockey and sang Disney songs together. Justin was nice. He smelled nice. His hands were nice.

Jace reached one arm up and behind his head to wrap around Maia’s waist. He smiled as he snuggled into the touches.

“You feel good, puppy?” She hadn’t called him that in a long time. Months, but it felt like years. Everything felt like a lifetime ago.

This new life. This new self.

Everything was different. But she was right. He was still everything he had always been. Except maybe now he could be more honest. What was the point of trying to live up to the ideals of a society that he didn’t belong to anymore? Why was he still trying to be what his father wanted, when he had become everything he despised? He would never be good enough for any of them, no matter what he did or didn’t do.

So why not do what he wanted?

He reached out with his other hand and grabbed Justin’s shirt, pulling him down, and kissing him, wet and sloppy. The other boy moaned and licked into his mouth. He could hear Maia chuckling brightly as her hand slid down to stroke his belly.

“That’s a good boy.” She purred. “Let us take care of you.”

Jace moaned quietly as he felt his pants being removed, lifting his hips to help. There were hands everywhere. A mouth on his neck. Another on his cock. Maia petting his torso. Luke rubbing his legs.

When he came, it was gentle and easy. Like stretching out an ache. Relief and satisfaction. He vaguely registered moving, and then found himself settling into Luke’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck as the older man’s wrapped around his waist.

“How’re you doing?” His voice was soft and gentle as he rubbed Jace’s back. Jace make a small keening sound rubbed his face against Luke’s chest. He smelled good. Safe. Warm. Home. Family. Pack.

He clung to him, melting into his lap as he felt someone’s lips on his shoulders.

“So beautiful.” He heard them say. Donnie. He was nice. Funny. Jace liked him. He sighed happily. Someone else was stroking his thigh. A smaller hand. Not Maia’s. He opened his eyes and smiled at Tracy. She was always smiling, it was infectious. She was curled up next to Luke, petting Jace’s skin lazily. Not really trying to do anything more than that. Just wanting to be close.

He stopped trying to figure out who was touching him where and how, and just let himself feel. He was pulled into someone else’s lap, his back to their chest. So many hands and mouths on his skin. Soft and gentle. Sweet words murmured in his ear. Endearments and praises. Hands in his hair. Lips on his own.

There was nothing hurried or frantic. No goal or expectations. Just the pack, being together, close and comforting. Welcoming him. Accepting him.

Loving him.

~*~

The next morning, Jace woke up feeling like he should feel odd about not feeling awkward. But he was curled up with his head on Maia’s chest. Her strong arms holding him. A shifted wolf asleep behind him, soft warm fur against his back. And he couldn’t bring himself to process the situation any more than... he was part of the pack. He belonged.

The casual intimacy he had been enjoying didn’t falter at all. In fact, it even intensified. He found himself being kissed and gently groped. Pulled into laps and just... held.

He thought it would be odd to be so intimate with Luke. His first thought was of Maryse. His mother’s boyfriend. But Luke smiled and assured him that she was well aware of werewolf culture, and found it more amusing and sweet than anything else. His second thought was more of a fleeting concept, flickering in the back of his mind. His father’s parabatai. It should mean something. It should matter.

But finding himself in Luke’s lap again, being held, kissed, touched, loved, wanted. He couldn’t help but think, that if it meant anything important, then he would worry about it later. Luke’s hands were warm and strong. He knew hands like that once. But they didn’t protect him. Hands that touched him just like this. Nothing like this.

Parabatai. Jace and Alec had always been so similar and so different in so many ways. He wondered how similar and different Luke was from Valentine.

He pressed his face to Luke’s neck as those hands slid down. Groping his ass. Slipping between his cheeks. When they rubbed at his entrance, they were met, not with dry friction, but wet slick heat.

“What the-“ Jace blinked, trying to clear his head.

“Oh, look at you.” Like murmured reverently. “It’s okay. You’re alright.” His fingers pressed down firmer, teasing at his entrance. “It’s not common, but it’s not rare. I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“What-“ Jace moaned softly, whimpering as he mouthed at Luke’s throat. “Oh, I don’t care. Don’t stop.”

Luke chuckled. “Okay, baby. We’ll talk about it later.” He slipped a finger inside of him, slow and gentle, and Jace _keened_.

Luke opened him up so slowly, it felt like hours. Jace could feel his ass getting wetter and slicker, Luke’s hand sliding easier and smoother. His own desperate whines and moans, met with Luke’s quiet growls and rumbling.

When Jace finally sank down on Luke’s cock, they both stopped breathing for a second. Jace’s hands clutched Luke’s shoulders as Luke’s fingers stroked his hips. Jace let out a strangled sound of relief. There was something in that moment, a tension snapping. For both of them.

There were no words to express the gravity of the moment, so Jace just pressed their lips together and began to move. Each thrust drove deep into something inside of him that he could never quite reach before. Jace trembled, and Luke held him steady.

There was a heavy thrumming energy to the air. An impression of the universe attempting to make amends. Everything they’d loved, and lost, and never really had. Every lie and betrayal overwritten and replaced. A new beginning. A second chance.

“Daddy!” The word tore out of him, a quiet and desperate sob, almost breathless. Like wrapped his arms around him and held him close, thrusting up into him, making him cry out.

“I’ve got you. I have you. You’re okay. My good boy. Love you so much.” Luke’s voice was shaking as he kissed Jace’s neck. “I’ll take care of you.” He promised.

Their movements began to lose their controlled rhythm, and became desperate, driving towards an end. Jace felt something swell at the base of Luke’s cock and moaned as it pressed against his entrance. He tried to rock down against it, but Luke held him up and away.

“Please!” Jace gasped.

“You don’t know what that is, baby.”

“Don’t care. Know I want it.” Jace’s voice was slurred and deep, punch drunk and fucked out.

“It’s- ... though...” Luke trailed off, his hand sliding over Jace’s ass, rubbing the hot sick rim stretched around his cock. “You can take it, can’t you?” He mused.

“I can take anything.” Jace assured him.

Luke helped him ease down slowly. His body stretching as the growing base of Luke’s cock pushed inside of him. His eyes watered and he trembled with pleasure.

“ _Please_!” He whispered. “Pleasepleaseplease- _Fuck_!” Jace melted against Luke as the knot inside of him grew, locking them together. He shook, and sobbed, and fell apart, and Luke held him safe and secure through it all. Kissing his head and murmuring words of praise and love.


	3. Chapter 3

“Do you want your friend’s advice, or my personal opinion, or what the institute head of security is supposed to tell you?”

Alec sighed and rubbed his face before staring back at Underhill.

“Gimme all three and I’ll pick the one I like best.”

Andrew’s eyebrows rose for a moment before he nodded, taking a deep breath. “As your best friend who’s not in some way related to you-“

“You’re my only friend who’s not in some way related to me.”

“As your best friend, I would say that you should do what makes you happy. He’s your brother and you have every right to take care of him.” He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Your head of security would remind you that this is a military base for military personnel. Jace is still your brother, but he is no longer a Shadowhunter. His place is with his pack, and it’s Maia’s responsibility to help him find a job and a place to live.”

“And your personal opinion?”

“A bit of both of those. Seeing as they’re both me.” He smiled.“Alec... He’s not gone. He’s not even leaving the city. Hell, you don’t even live in the institute anymore!”

They both chuckled and Alec shook his head. “I know. I just... my first instinct is to protect him. And my ability to do that has been... compromised. I need to feel like I’m doing everything in my power to-“

“But you are.” Andrew said softly. “And that’s what’s bothering you. ‘Everything in your power’ is a much shorter list than it used to be. And you don’t know what to do with yourself. The unstoppable force of your control issues has met the immovable object of your circumstance. So now you’re scrambling for something to make yourself feel better.”

Alec glared at him for a moment, and Andrew met his gaze calmly.

“You’re fired.”

“No I’m not.”

~*~

The whole team was in the ops room, pretending to be busy and avoiding making eye contact with each other. No one had said a single word in almost an hour when Simon finally popped up.

“Did you know that as a vampire, I can _literally_ taste the tension and anxiety radiating off of all of you? Not that I’m not feeling it too. I just thought it was interesting. An interesting fact..... But also, you all reek. And Jace is gonna be able to smell it and taste it too. And that’s probably gonna make him feel worse. And so maybe we should all try to calm down before he gets here.”

A valiant effort was made by all. And they all failed spectacularly. Instead, they redoubled their efforts at the appearance of productivity.

“I wanted to make a joke, do an epic entrance with a clever one liner. But I couldn’t think of anything.”

All of their heads jerked in the direction of the voice. Izzy dropped the daggers in her hands. Alec walked directly into the table that he forgot was next to him. Clary spun around so fast that she tripped over her own foot and landed on her ass on the marble floor. Simon’s eyes grew so large they seemed to be about to pop out of his head.

Jace stood five feet from them, looking the same as ever. A wry smile twisted his lips and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. There was something odd about him. Something off. It poked at the back of Alec’s mind. There was a black bandana around his neck and he seemed... calmer. Happier, maybe.

Alec realized what was bothering him like a shot of ice in his veins. He couldn’t tell what Jace was feeling. Couldn’t feel him. It had taken weeks just to start recovering from the shock and trauma of the bond breaking. He was finally starting to grow accustomed to the aching chasm inside of him. But he hadn’t even begun to face what it meant. He managed the pain while ignoring the cause of the wound. But now. Looking at Jace in front of him and feeling... empty. Nothing. It wasn’t even like when Jace would block his end of the bond. It was just... gone. Like Jace was any random person in the world. Alec dug his nails into the palm of his hand to keep himself from crying.

He and Jace stared at each other. Barely blinking. Alec watched the emotions flicker over his brother’s face, and he made another realization. He could still read him. And Jace could still read him in return. They understood each other. They didn’t need a rune for that.

“Did you miss me?” Jace asked quietly, the corners of his mouth twitching up. Alec sniffed and tried to smile.

“Did you go somewhere? I thought it’s been a bit quiet lately.”

The others let out a bit of relieved laughter as the boys stared at each other, grinning now. At the same time, both of them moved forward, wrapping their arms around each other tightly. Jace pressed his face into the crook of Alec’s neck and took a deep breath. It took Alec a moment to realize that Jace was smelling him. He supposed he’d get used to that. He stroked the hair at the nape of Jace’s neck, like he’d done a million times before. Jace fit in his arms as perfectly as ever. Even if he felt... different.

“You better let me get in there or I’m gonna fight you.” The boys laughed and opened their arms to let their sister burrow between them. Jace was home. That was all that mattered. Where he slept and how he spent his time was irrelevant.

~*~

“So really, I don’t see any reason why we can’t integrate Jace back into the team. Some adjustments would have to be made, but things can go relatively back to normal.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Alec’s brow furrowed, both at Maia’s words, and the softness of her voice. They were alone in his office, discussing Jace’s future. Alec knew there would be some details to parse out, but he didn’t expect much push back. 

“I appreciate your concern, but I can assure you-“

“ _Alec_.” Maia stared at him for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I like you. I enjoy working with you. And I respect you as a colleague. I wanted to do this as... gently, as possible. But Alec. You need to understand. You are _still_ his brother. You are _still_ his best friend. But you are _not_ his commanding officer anymore. _I_ am. _I_ decide what is best for my pack. Now. I can’t imagine a world where Jace never fights demons again. But it is not in his best interest for things to go back to the way they were. When he’s ready to start helping out, we can revisit the logistics. But for now? Consider him a civilian.”

“But-“

Maia cut him off with a raised eyebrow. Her posture was still relaxed, but her face was a calm challenge. Daring him to fight her authority over one of her own wolves. He knew she was right. And she knew that he respected that. But they both knew how hard this was for him.

“And it’s not just _his_ well-being that concerns me. The health and harmony of the entire pack is my top priority. Jace has been finding his place among us quickly and smoothly. But having one of our wolves being a full time shadowhunter...” she sighed. “That’s a good way to breed unease and tension _very_ quickly. And I can’t have that.”

Alec nodded, rubbing his hand. “What’s going on with his living arrangements? I know he can’t stay here. But he shouldn’t live alone. I’d say put him in Simon’s spare room, but objectively, I know that he should be with his pack. What about mom and Luke?”

“We’re still discussing options. Right now, he’s fine staying with me.”

“Magnus still has his room set aside at the loft.” Alec said, quietly. “He has a key, and he’s always welcome.”

“He knows.”

“Thank you.”

”He's mine, now. You know I protect what’s mine.”

Alec smiled a little at that. “I know. I trust you. He’s in good hands.”

**Author's Note:**

> Want to be part of a new Shadowhunters rare pairs Discord server?  
> 18+ ONLY
> 
> [Click Here to Join!](https://discord.gg/fw8jqsA)
> 
> Comments welcome! I’m not looking for advice/concrit, but I would love to know what you think!
> 
> You can find me here :
> 
> [ShadowhuntersNonsense](http://ShadowhuntersNonsense.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here :
> 
> [OnyxMoonStone](http://OnyxMoonStone.tumblr.com/)
> 
> If you're not comfortable leaving a public comment on any of my stuff for any reason, feel free to DM me on tumblr or discord!


End file.
